Last week, our blog touched upon the classic “approach/avoidance” conflict, which is when people are faced with desirable situations, and yet part of them wants to avoid that situation because they can also see the possible problems associated with this new experience. And it seems from the response that more than one family is experiencing an approach/avoidance feeling toward beginning college. Today, I just want to first pay homage to how we feel as parents.
We are experiencing this simultaneously the same sort of tugs in different directions as our children who are feeling as the date for college orientation approaches. We are excited that our children will be entering the next stage of their lives, and we are worried about their successes and failures as they negotiate college life. But as parents, we are experiencing it on a different level. On one hand, we are looking forward to all the freedom we will experience with one less child in the house or becoming an empty nester, but we are also concerned with “What will that feel like?” For some parents, they really feel as though their child is their best friend, while for others, it is a more distant closeness. But whatever your relationship with your child, it is about to change.
I can remember after wondering what my son’s life was really like at college. And seeing how happy he was when I visited during Parents Weekend. I got to witness all his relationships with all his new friends and interacted with his friends’ parents. Now, I was thrilled that he had made such a wonderful adjustment to college, but on the other hand there was a lament that he was entering an entirely new stage of life, where my influence was beginning to dwindle. And that is what most parents are sensing now. And if you have already sent a child to college, then you know that it is about to happen.
But for your teen going off to college, he/she is not such a seasoned veteran, and as while contemplating this new adventure, he/she feels a great deal of avoidance as it approaches. Sometimes, a child becomes very argumentative in his/her attempt to make sure that he/she can stand on his own. Sometimes, when a parent offers help, the child rejects it. Of course, improper behavior needs to be dealt with, but don’t take it personally, he/she is only trying to prove something to himself/herself.
Here at the EA Team, we share these tidbits with you because we have sent our children off to college and know the mixed feelings we experienced as the start of their first semester began. So remember, treat yourself well during this time of transition. I wish someone had told me all this when each of my children left for college. And certainly, when Judy sent her twins off to college, she began the new phase of her life in one giant moment. We are here for our EA students, but we are also here for our EA parents. We hope these weekly posts are helpful, but if you have individual questions, just reach out to Judy or Ava at 845-582-0017.
And for those of you whose children are juniors in high school, don’t forget that SAT will be given in September and that our first six-week SAT Preparation Course begins on August 23.
Like us on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/educationallyaware/
We are experiencing this simultaneously the same sort of tugs in different directions as our children who are feeling as the date for college orientation approaches. We are excited that our children will be entering the next stage of their lives, and we are worried about their successes and failures as they negotiate college life. But as parents, we are experiencing it on a different level. On one hand, we are looking forward to all the freedom we will experience with one less child in the house or becoming an empty nester, but we are also concerned with “What will that feel like?” For some parents, they really feel as though their child is their best friend, while for others, it is a more distant closeness. But whatever your relationship with your child, it is about to change.
I can remember after wondering what my son’s life was really like at college. And seeing how happy he was when I visited during Parents Weekend. I got to witness all his relationships with all his new friends and interacted with his friends’ parents. Now, I was thrilled that he had made such a wonderful adjustment to college, but on the other hand there was a lament that he was entering an entirely new stage of life, where my influence was beginning to dwindle. And that is what most parents are sensing now. And if you have already sent a child to college, then you know that it is about to happen.
But for your teen going off to college, he/she is not such a seasoned veteran, and as while contemplating this new adventure, he/she feels a great deal of avoidance as it approaches. Sometimes, a child becomes very argumentative in his/her attempt to make sure that he/she can stand on his own. Sometimes, when a parent offers help, the child rejects it. Of course, improper behavior needs to be dealt with, but don’t take it personally, he/she is only trying to prove something to himself/herself.
Here at the EA Team, we share these tidbits with you because we have sent our children off to college and know the mixed feelings we experienced as the start of their first semester began. So remember, treat yourself well during this time of transition. I wish someone had told me all this when each of my children left for college. And certainly, when Judy sent her twins off to college, she began the new phase of her life in one giant moment. We are here for our EA students, but we are also here for our EA parents. We hope these weekly posts are helpful, but if you have individual questions, just reach out to Judy or Ava at 845-582-0017.
And for those of you whose children are juniors in high school, don’t forget that SAT will be given in September and that our first six-week SAT Preparation Course begins on August 23.
Like us on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/educationallyaware/
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